Time: 03:15 am
Current mood: Why can't i get some sleep
Listening to: Tonight The Streets Are Ours by Richard Hawley
Eventually, it becomes hard for family and friends to sympathize.
No matter how legitimate, it also becomes self-indulgent.
And then it begins to cost you relationships.
I’m afraid people will only remember me for my mania and self-destruction.
They may be right.
Saturday 28 February 2009
I Me Myself!
Time: 12:35 am
Current mood: Rock bottom
Listening to: Hold up my heart by Brooke White
Do i fit the mold of what we should be?
He wants consistency. She wants reliability.
But I don't feel the emotions of another human being within myself.
Current mood: Rock bottom
Listening to: Hold up my heart by Brooke White
Do i fit the mold of what we should be?
He wants consistency. She wants reliability.
But I don't feel the emotions of another human being within myself.
Loop
Time: 12:22 am
Current mood: Very down
Listening to: Isn't life strange? by The Clientele
You never see these periods coming, when they come.
There is a hopelessness that envelopes your existence.
You ask yourself what you are going to do?
All I can do now is sit and wait for the morning.
Current mood: Very down
Listening to: Isn't life strange? by The Clientele
You never see these periods coming, when they come.
There is a hopelessness that envelopes your existence.
You ask yourself what you are going to do?
All I can do now is sit and wait for the morning.
Is this it?
Time: 12:01 am
Current mood: Going down
Listening to: Relief by Chris Garneau
I struggle with the old me and the real i am now.
I do not have all the answers.
I am just living forward and staying true to my heart.
May be this is god's best for me!
Current mood: Going down
Listening to: Relief by Chris Garneau
I struggle with the old me and the real i am now.
I do not have all the answers.
I am just living forward and staying true to my heart.
May be this is god's best for me!
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Just me!
Time: 02:36 pm
Current mood: Struggling
Listening to: That's How People Grow Up by Morrissey
I feel isolated. I’m picky.
People reach out to me but they usually only end up disappointed.
Maybe I just don’t like people.
Current mood: Struggling
Listening to: That's How People Grow Up by Morrissey
I feel isolated. I’m picky.
People reach out to me but they usually only end up disappointed.
Maybe I just don’t like people.
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Opposite
Time: 12:50 pm
Current mood: Better
Listening to: Birds Without Wings by David Gray
There's nothing I can do but try and be positive.
That's how i feel now.
Normal? What's that?
Perhaps one day I can return.
Current mood: Better
Listening to: Birds Without Wings by David Gray
There's nothing I can do but try and be positive.
That's how i feel now.
Normal? What's that?
Perhaps one day I can return.
Frail
Time: 12:30 pm
Current mood: In between
Listening to: That's How People Grow Up by Morrissey
Strong.
The thing being strong means not getting what you want or what you need and yet being okay.
I’m weak.
Current mood: In between
Listening to: That's How People Grow Up by Morrissey
Strong.
The thing being strong means not getting what you want or what you need and yet being okay.
I’m weak.
Monday 23 February 2009
Hope
Time: 11:15 pm
Current mood: Better
Listening to: Lua by Conor Oberst With Gillian Welch
Suddenly I have more energy, more motivation, more confidence.
Life seems more vibrant and worth living. I feel a love so pure and full.
The journey continues.
Current mood: Better
Listening to: Lua by Conor Oberst With Gillian Welch
Suddenly I have more energy, more motivation, more confidence.
Life seems more vibrant and worth living. I feel a love so pure and full.
The journey continues.
Jelly
Time: 09:25 pm
Current mood: Very very sad
Listening to: Deep Blue Sea by Grizzly Bear
Reality is there for you to shape it. Then, life comes crashing down.
Life is tired.
I am tired.
Current mood: Very very sad
Listening to: Deep Blue Sea by Grizzly Bear
Reality is there for you to shape it. Then, life comes crashing down.
Life is tired.
I am tired.
Contradictions!
Time: 04:29 pm
Current mood: Very sad
Listening to: The Giant Of Illinois by Andrew Bird
I just wish practical aspects of life were in my range of abilities.
Life is not made for sensitive dreamers.
Existence. It doesn't matter to anybody if it doesn't matter to you.
I don't matter.
Current mood: Very sad
Listening to: The Giant Of Illinois by Andrew Bird
I just wish practical aspects of life were in my range of abilities.
Life is not made for sensitive dreamers.
Existence. It doesn't matter to anybody if it doesn't matter to you.
I don't matter.
Broken Brain!
Time: 02:54 pm
Current mood: Weird
Listening to: A Lot of Silence Here by Thirteen Senses
I want so much attention sometimes, I feel like I'm just looking at the world, not living it.
Confused. Disturbed. Distorted. Inspired.
Current mood: Weird
Listening to: A Lot of Silence Here by Thirteen Senses
I want so much attention sometimes, I feel like I'm just looking at the world, not living it.
Confused. Disturbed. Distorted. Inspired.
Us
Time: 12:42 pm
Current mood: Somewhere in between happy and sad
Listening to: In the Crossfire by Starsailor
I'm still breathing.
Being consistent even in things that I love is difficult.
I do not think words will ever properly describe my emotion.
A little crazy... Aren't we all?
Current mood: Somewhere in between happy and sad
Listening to: In the Crossfire by Starsailor
I'm still breathing.
Being consistent even in things that I love is difficult.
I do not think words will ever properly describe my emotion.
A little crazy... Aren't we all?
Sunday 22 February 2009
Burden!
Time: 11:32 am
Current mood: High to low
Listening to: Human by The Killers
Today has been good. I am happy. My mind is clear. There’s not an iota of negativity.
Then all the sudden, I feel sad. For no obvious reason.
I want to cry, but I have nothing to cry about.
What's wrong? Nothing.
At any given moment, I can be really happy.
Ands then for no reason at all, I get real low.
My current thought is
Current mood: High to low
Listening to: Human by The Killers
Today has been good. I am happy. My mind is clear. There’s not an iota of negativity.
Then all the sudden, I feel sad. For no obvious reason.
I want to cry, but I have nothing to cry about.
What's wrong? Nothing.
At any given moment, I can be really happy.
Ands then for no reason at all, I get real low.
My current thought is
“Nobody would miss me. Everyone just puts up with me.”
All Grown Up
Time: 11:25 pm
Current mood: Indifferent
Listening to: Mood Indigo by Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington
Interests change. Fears don't. They just grow.
In that case i've grown leaps and bounds.
Current mood: Indifferent
Listening to: Mood Indigo by Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington
Interests change. Fears don't. They just grow.
In that case i've grown leaps and bounds.
It's just a dark tunnel!
Time: 11:00 pm
Current mood: Curious
Listening to: With or Without You by Keane
Where did ‘then’ come from when it’s always ‘now’.
It is amazing how bad I truly feel. I look back and see nothing. I look ahead and see…
...nothing.
I always tried to make myself better.
What did I do?
Current mood: Curious
Listening to: With or Without You by Keane
Where did ‘then’ come from when it’s always ‘now’.
It is amazing how bad I truly feel. I look back and see nothing. I look ahead and see…
...nothing.
I always tried to make myself better.
What did I do?
The End of the Beginning
Time: 10:40 pm
Current mood: Melancholy
Listening to: Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
Hope is not a plan. I have no plan. Hopeless?
Somewhere I read awareness is the first step to freeing the mind. I feel numb.
My heart loves, but my moods want no friends.
I once walked all the way back home from school ‘cos I forgot to kiss my mom goodbye. The beginning of paranoia?
Current mood: Melancholy
Listening to: Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
Hope is not a plan. I have no plan. Hopeless?
Somewhere I read awareness is the first step to freeing the mind. I feel numb.
My heart loves, but my moods want no friends.
I once walked all the way back home from school ‘cos I forgot to kiss my mom goodbye. The beginning of paranoia?
I Say Blue!
Time: 10:29 pm
Current mood: Sadness
Listening to: Born Slippy by Barefoot
When I was young I was ahead of my time. Am I falling behind?
I was driving earlier in the evening and I looked at the streetlights. Every one of ‘em lit bright and shiny except one.
A little hope.
Innocence still exists.
When I was Six, I asked my aunt, what if red was blue. She said it would still be red.
Current mood: Sadness
Listening to: Born Slippy by Barefoot
When I was young I was ahead of my time. Am I falling behind?
I was driving earlier in the evening and I looked at the streetlights. Every one of ‘em lit bright and shiny except one.
A little hope.
Innocence still exists.
When I was Six, I asked my aunt, what if red was blue. She said it would still be red.
Glass Full Empty
Time: 9.54 pm
Current mood: Sadness
Listening to: Solitude by Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington
Empty. Empty. Empty. That’s how I feel.
I even imagined how it would be to jump into sea with a huge rock tied to my leg.
Then my mind wandered a little, asking questions to self. How do I get the rock to the middle of the sea?
Chuckle.
I don’t need sympathy. I do need sympathy.
Current mood: Sadness
Listening to: Solitude by Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington
Empty. Empty. Empty. That’s how I feel.
I even imagined how it would be to jump into sea with a huge rock tied to my leg.
Then my mind wandered a little, asking questions to self. How do I get the rock to the middle of the sea?
Chuckle.
I don’t wanna commit suicide but if my life were to end now, I would be the happiest.
I don’t need sympathy. I do need sympathy.
